The stories of our lives

As autumn is showing signs of reappearing I am reminded of how change is prevalent in all things, and change doesn’t leave my life untouched.

Change in the forests of England, the crop now harvested and the Earth turned up again by the plow. A summer has passed and children are back in school. Office car parks fill up once more and the hamster will starts spinning faster. Ah, Autumn.

Yesterday a friend joined me for a days walk through the Ouse Valley. Only that this is someone I’ve met only 3 times in my life. You know when you meet someone for the first time and before a word is even exchanged you feel a strong bond already? This is how I feel with this friend. Perhaps it’s the story told through her eyes that means something to me somehow. Perhaps it’s her gentle smile and unassuming nature which touches my own soul, some part of me that perhaps I’ve neglected over the years. Such folk make great company for a long walk.

Anyone who has walk any part of the meandering Ouse Valley in Bedfordshire will have come across the picturesque villages which are dotted along the region and the wildlife reserves providing sanctuaries of peace to anyone who cares to rest there.

My friend talked of the changes in her life since we had last spoken 6 months before. She weaved these recent events in her life into a story where she was the main character and she was the author, and narrator. The significant changes she spoke of seem to give the context and a platform to apply herself in the world in a meaningful way, in a way which is true for her.

How story telling is a powerful device for moving through ones life with grace. Story telling offers time to reflect and give meaning to events, and adjust our sails to keep the ship sailing towards our destined paths. Giving meaning to life is a self-empowering gift because it helps us learn the lessons which may need to be learned, to atone for things we need to atone for and move on from them. Whilst in reflection we look at the good and bad, but giving meaning to the events in our lives requires us to give bias to the good in things so that we don’t get caught in muddy waters but rather we keep our energies in motion, moving towards our souls purpose.

It was a tough 26km walk and my water-proof boots failed to keep my feet dry as we trawled through muddy fields. She spoke of her plans to take a sabbatical from work next year as she thought of the decisions she will have to make after she finished her masters degree and some projects at work. Much of 2014 for her will be a time where she takes one step forward and two steps “back” before she makes committed decisions to take one giant leap forward. My boots reminded me of how a good foundation can provide a way of trawling through pretty much anything whilst we prepared to take a giant leap in life, or in this case a 16 mile walk with dry feet.

Change sometimes comes unexpected, but often it is expected. Rather than running around the familiar hamster wheel or repeating the same mistakes I am reminded how time for reflection and weaving the events of our lives into stories can keep us energised and motivated to live our lives more truly and more deeply with each passing Autumn.

Thank you R. Whitford for your company and wisdom.


Developing Self-Discipline




My focus for the next month is Self-Discipline. I found this text (link below) by Chuck Gallozzi quite helpful.

Developing Self-Discipline.

“Will is character in action (William Mcdougall) 

When British psychologist William Mcdougall (1871 ~ 1938) said, “Will is character in action,” what did he mean? Simply that willpower is the source of our action, and, therefore, the source of our character. For when we will to do good, and do so, we have good character, but when we will to neglect our responsibilities, we have bad character.”……….





Create my Life


1    Summary

Summary : To go forward with certainty in any aspect of my life I need to live from my (1) Spirit, have a strong (2) Will and be free from any disabling habits or (3) addictions. I can then make committed decisions with developing any aspect in my life.

  1. Understand and develop the qualities of Spirit
  2. Strengthen the Will through discipline
  3. Destroy any bad habits or addictions


2    Narrative

I want to create my Life. I want to do the things that energise me, motivate and inspire me and keep my Life in alignment with my Spirit. I want to do the things that help me fulfil my purpose and achieve my potential.

To affect change and create any aspect of my Life, I must strengthen my sense of self-worth and I must practice the art of living my life in the present. This two-pronged approach changes the truth about me and therefore my self-esteem and beliefs.

I want to achieve a balanced life, where

  1. My lifestyle is an extension of my Spirit
  2. My finances enable me and my family to live comfortably
  3. I have people in my life who support me
  4. I am free to love and be loved and practice giving it unconditionally
  5. My strength of character and depth of knowledge compliments me
  6. My physical and mental states benefit from good health


I am learning to create peace, confidence, love, joy and strength within myself, and in the experiences of my Life. I am starting to create a strong foundation that will strengthen my confidence and my Will to live from my Spirit and from there aspire to achieve the balanced life I desire. I will learn to approach all aspects of my life with peace, confidence, love, joy and strength as well as other qualities of my spirit.

I must remain aware of the principles that will guide me on a steady path to the uncovering of the qualities peace, confidence, love, joy and strength. Some of these principles provide the tools that can help align oneself with the truth of the Spirit while empowering one to aspire and achieve our goals and purpose.


3    Guiding Principles

Gratitude – Give thanks for the miracle of your life, for the abundance, opportunities and challenges that each day presents

Respect and love yourself – Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself the rights and responsibilities of being human

Be Aware – and in the present moment. Be a steward of your thoughts and feelings, and entertain only those that empower you. Appreciate your life now.

Positive Mental Attitude – Focus on the solution rather than the problem, and on your best intentions

Empower your state – Change your focus, your physiology and your language whenever you need to change your state in a moment

Faith – What must you believe in order to experience your true life? Consciously guide your beliefs so that they empower you, and question any belief that may hold you back

Strengthen The Will – Do the things that need to be done, and say no to temptations at every opportunity

I am the Captain of my Ship, the navigator of my Journey

“You are what you love, not what loves you” from the 2002 movie Adaption, as a brother tries to explain his philosophy on life.

There’s an empowering feeling which this thought brings, it tells me that I am the master of my reality and that my values can bring me happiness, if I live them.

As time reached February 2006, I was sad and in my mid-twenties. I felt like I was a destroyed and abandoned, carried far away by the currents of time and space, and I was very confused about where I was and how I had gotten there.

Little did I know of the forces that eventually crashed my ship in to some rocky shore. I was not aware that I was a child of the Universe, where energy is constantly in flow and I did not know I was on a Ship, amidst the currents of the Universe.

From the hull that keeps the Ship afloat to the sails that harness the winds energy I have re-built by Ship part by part.

By being aware I am learning to keep afloat, by disciplining the Will I am learning to steer my Ship. I ride the waves gently but surely and I take care of my Ship with love.

Life’s energy is like the vast Ocean, always moving and unpredictable. I could be sailing for days or weeks without any sign of my desired destination. Yet surely, this is what by gone navigators experienced, and through perseverance, confidence and a love for the Ocean they would eventually reach some destination, if not the expected one.

Through quite confidence and humble gratitude I am learning to be my own guide, but with an open mind which will allow me to be thankful for all that I experience and allow me to appreciate the abundance of life’s offerings.

As I awaken and begin to create my life, I want to keep a journal of my experiences and my journey. Perhaps, you will find some of what I write useful for yourown journey.